The good draft of the Stop the Sun response to literature piece is due Friday. Today we looked at the rough drafts. Section 4 typed in class and submitted their pieces. (Some will finish by Friday.)
Here is the best outline I have come up with for those few students who are still not quite seeing the big picture. You will also see an example of a B-/C+ piece at the bottom if you are curious what the paper should sound like.
This will be on my blog today. www.mrboz.com
Start with a focusing statement (focus of critique/connection)
Summarize story to give context for your commentary
Quick summary
of the story
Main conflict
Mention the characters to pique our
interest
Story leads to
theme
Critique and connect to the text
Critique,
explain, example from text.
Critique,
explain, example from text.
Choose two: Exposition | Characters | Setting | Conflict |
Rising Action | Climax | Resolution | Theme | Flashback | Choice of characters
| Use of dialogue
Connect,
explain, example from text.
Connect,
explain, example from text.
Text-text | Text-self | Text-world
Finish with a strong conclusion (You proved your focusing
statement.)
Sample
I did not like this story. I did not connect with it at all. None of my family members have been in the
war and I do not think they used good description. I could not picture a lot of the story and it
made me confused.
I did not
like the story because in the first place Terry was trying to figure out what
caused his dad’s problem. Mr. Erickson
was in the Vietnam War and was diagnosed with Vietnam Syndrome. This caused him to have random freak-outs and
he would stare out into space. Not
saying a word. This process made Terry
very worried for his dad and he wanted to figure out the issue.
One reason
I did not like the story was because I didn’t have anything in common with
it. Terry was told not to ask about his
dad’s scary syndrome and he was worried.
I have never been told anything that would make me want to fix it. And, like I said, none of my family members
have been included in the war.
Another
reason I did not like this story was because I do not think the writer used
enough description. He used small words
to describe what things looked like, so I could not picture the setting. The only thing I could imagine was when Mr.
Erickson told the story about his experience at war. I also did not like how the story was laid
out and organized. To me it was
confusing and hard to read. They
would talk about one thing and then jump over to another subject. I think some things could have been taken out
of the story.
In
conclusion, the author’s short story did not impress me. If I could change one thing, it would be the
description. I think it is important for
the reader to picture the story in their head and I did not have that
effect. I know the author could have
written the story better and more organized than he did.
339 words
