What the students have to do is difficult because they are required to do a lot in one shot. Students are given a topic. The topic is the same for all. It is in their workbook. They are to create a t-chart and brainstorm their opinion. Then they read the three articles and organize the details that support both sides. They then organize an essay that states a claim which they back up with reasons. Those reasons are supported by evidence from the articles. Finally, they have to be sure to address the opposing claim. Wow! This is why I have taken them through two practice essays.
Sections 2 and 3 are currently writing the scored essay in class, in one shot, by hand, just like they will have to do on the state test this spring. I sure hope they are more motivated tomorrow. This essay will be the first large summative of the 3rd marking period.
Section 1 will start the essay tomorrow, Wednesday.
(We are still doing debates. Check out the schedule and winners.)
Sample Essays
Should students be required to stay in school until they are 18?
(The bolded parts are evidence from the articles. Also notice how the better essays mention the person who said the evidence or include the name of the article. Use words like “according to,” and “as stated in…”)
Example 1: C-/D+ (choppy organization, no evidence or according to)
I believe that students should to school until they are eighteen. These are my why, first financially you live better, secondly dropouts will suffer and finally there is a more positive effect if students stay until they are 18.
Would you like to live in the real world by yourself at the age of sixteen or when you are an adult? Financially have you ever heard of a 16 year old making a lot of money I know you have heard of an 18 year old graduate becoming successful such as Michael Dell , Mark Zuckerberg , Bill Gates and Kevin Plank although they dropped out of college it was for their industry, but they all finished high school .
Another reason you will be successful if you stay in high school until you are 18 is if you are in the job industry and they see in your resume you have got your high school diploma and are in college getting your degree they would take you over a sixteen year old dropout . Some reason why they might not choose a sixteen year old is inexperience, maturity and other reasons that prove they are not ready. This is why you see many young people at fast food restaurants.
An advantage you have if you stay until you are 18 is that you have a choice of going into the real world and making a name for yourself or going to college and expanding your mind or you could do both. Many people that go through high school and college are more likely to get jobs over a person who has their GED.
I know there are some successful people who ended up dropping out of high school to become famous but they did not have to put as much effort as people who go through high school and college.
I think dropouts don’t deserve to have so much fame because many people work harder than dropouts but get paid less than a dime of what a dropout does.
Example 2: C/C- (Better if had “according to… and more details from articles.)
Someone is only going to do what they want to do. Forcing students to stay in school might save some lives but the outcome is still bittersweet.
Students should not stay in school until they are 18 because raising the age just makes it worse. For one, students are just going to school for no reason and for second, student may need to work to provide. You can lead a child to school but can't make them learn. Students are only going to do what benefits them and if they think school is not a main priority in life then they are going to waste time sleeping, goofing around or "playing hooky". It's better off just letting the student choose their path and deal with how they handle things.
Raising the age to 18 make things worse also because students may have very severe problems at home that they might have to take charge. Sometimes students are around 16/17 and have other siblings with no guardian. This cause the students to work to provide for other loved ones. The more hours=more money. This causes students to at least have the privilege to drop out.
Students should stay in school until they are 18 on the other hand because for one, dropout might suffer. For two, graduates will most likely earn more money in their lifetime and for three, positive effects from raising the age. Drop outs will suffer from not staying in school until they are 18 because they will be forced to work but without diploma will cause minimum wage. This is incorrect because instead of going to school doing hopeless things they should be able to go to work and put in effort that they want to and at that get paid for it. This gives student the chance to learn how to work for what's earned.
Students should stay in school until they are 18 because they will earn more money in their lifetime because this will be the requirement met and what jobs are looking for. This could go both ways. Like some jobs might say you need a diploma as if you were in the medical field or something that takes dedication but you can always get your GED. If someone sees you giving more ambition than another person then you might get the job before them.
The last reason why students should stay in school until they are 18 is because positive effects come from raising the age like having a better chance to go to college or get a better job. False, you can the same chance as anyone else being a dropout but they might just have an advantage over you. Explaining why you dropped out may explains everything.
Raising the age to 18 to say in school makes everything worse. Students/ anybody are only going to do what they feel as the need to do. Forcing someone to do stuff only makes it worse for students and teachers. It's a waste of time while they could be doing something else productive.
Example 3: B- (missing the opposing claim for the most part)
Legislators want to reduce the dropout rate. Many people believe the solution is to raise the age a student can drop out to 18. However, merely raising the age to 18 will not resolve the problem. There are no easy solutions to keeping students in school.
First of all, by raising the age of when students are allowed to drop out of school, it leads to positive effects. In Obama’s speech it says, “Raising the age of exiting pre-graduation many not stop all dropouts but it had a positive effect.” This quote perfectly describes why raising the age of when students are allowed to drop out is a great idea. There are positive effects of doing this, like students get more education than if they were to drop out at 15, or 16, or any age. The more education, the better their future will be. Also another positive effect addressed by his speech is when he said, “When students don't walk away from their education, more of them walk the stage to get their diploma.” This meaning that when students stay in school, and don’t give up on their education, more of them get their diploma.
Next, if students get as much education as they possibly can while they are in school, they will earn more money in the future. In the chart, it gives 4 situations of how many years of education the student may get, and the average income. For high school dropouts, the average income is only $19,540. Comparing that to a four-year college degree which is $46,930, or even some college/associate degree which is $36,190. The more education, the more the average income is. That is why staying in school, as long as a student can if very important when it comes to money, and their future.
Finally, if students drop out before they are at least 18, the dropouts will suffer. If dropouts decide to leave school for work, it leads to negative consequences. High school or college dropouts, according to the interview, have higher unemployment, lower job satisfaction, and even a higher likelihood of ending up in jail or public assistance. Thus making the students who drop out suffer. They could end up in jail, and because they do not have as much education as the next guy interviewing, they have less chance of getting the job. Dropouts usually do not have a good reputation.
In conclusion, While we can’t solve all the problems, students should be required to stay in school until 18. Making the rule that they must stay in school until they are 18, helps students for their future, and education overall. The longer they stay in school, the more education they get. The more education they get the better chance they have of getting jobs, and in general just surviving in the future. They will have positive effects on their life, they will get more money for needs, and will not suffer as a dropout would in the real world.
Example 4: A+
In the United States alone, over 1.2 million students drop out of high school each year. In 21 states and the District of Columbia, laws have been made to require students to stay in school until they turn 18 years old, or graduate. However, dropout rates in some of those areas are still high. And keeping students in school when they do not want to be can cause other problems as well. Over the past few years, the age for exiting pre-graduation has been getting higher. Students should be required to stay in school until they are 18, even though not all of the problems can be fixed.
First, from raising the legal age of leaving school, there are positive effects—students are dedicated to graduate, and more students do in fact graduate. President Obama, urging states to raise the dropout age, said, "When students don't walk away from their education, more of them walk the stage to get their diploma." According to Paul Leather, New Hampshire Deputy Commissioner of Education, raising the minimum age of dropping out sets a ‘moral imperative’ which causes students, families, and educators to become more dedicated and committed to guide each and every student to graduate. In national and international research, it was discovered that, as a result of raising the compulsory age of education, graduation and retention rates grow. Raising the legal age of leaving school motivates commitment for graduation and increases retention and graduation rates.
Secondly, graduates will have better wages in the workplace. According to a census in 2009, “Average Income by Education”, a high school dropout will make an average of $27K less per year than someone with a four year degree. Merely gaining a diploma could help a person earn $8K more, annually. It will be difficult for a high school dropout to be living on the average income of $19.5K. Raising the legal age of leaving school will help students earn more money over their lifetime.
Lastly, if a student leaves school they will suffer through the course of their life. As said before, those without a diploma have lower earnings, they will have a smaller income than those who have graduated high school, and even smaller than those who have some sort of degree from college. High school graduates also have a greater chance of unemployment and low job satisfaction. Dropouts even have a higher risk of going to jail or ending up on public assistance. So, it is a bad deal for children to leave school without walking the stage. Raising the legal age of leaving school will decrease the number of dropouts whose lives are negatively impacted.
However, there are some valid reasons for students to leave school. Things may be difficult in the student’s home, as seen in the letter by Marissa to her grandmother. Financial instability may call for them to get a job, but that money does not go quite far. One might not be able to take so much time and effort to get to school , rather they might step up and find a job opportunity in order to help support their family. And just because a student drops out, does not mean that they never pursue and finish their education again, they just put it on hold. After all, they still have the chance to get their GED later. Raising the legal age of leaving school will overlook students’ legitimate and valid reasons to leave.
Furthermore, just raising the age is not going to solve everything. Some states have been using a different approach. As stated in the radio interview, in Kentucky, the dropout rates have successfully been lowered, yet the legal age of dropping out is 16. School has been diligently made to be relevant, offering courses that can help children get jobs and gain essential knowledge for their adult lives. Several pathways have also been created so that there are multiple ways to graduate, more ways to succeed. Raising the legal age of leaving school will help not automatically fix the problem.
The main challenge is economic, which is much more difficult to face. Everyone wants to lower the dropout rate, however making it the law that you have to stay in school is not the only way. If we could only be able to overcome the social and economic problems that cause students to drop out, we could be able to effectively and successfully bring the dropout rate down. Raising the legal age of leaving school will not tackle the economic problems which result in the students leaving school.
While we can’t solve all the problems, students should be required to stay in school until 18. As the great philosopher Plato had said, “The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future in life.”
Argumentative Essay Rubric 2015
|
Development of Ideas
|
Organization
|
Clarity of Language
|
Language and Conventions
|
4 (A)
| The response addresses the prompt and shows effective and comprehensive development of the claim using text-based evidence, clear and convincing reasoning, and/or description. | The response demonstrates coherence and clarity, a logical organization that includes an introduction and conclusion, and a logical progression of ideas. | The response establishes and maintains an effective style, including precise language, descriptive words and phrases, transitional words and phrases, and domain-specific vocabulary. | The response demonstrates a command of standard English conventions consistent with effectively edited writing. |
