The Value of Work Essays and Samples

I finished grading the Value of Work essays for all three classes.  

Scoring an essay is subjective, even when there is a clear rubric.  Each essay has its strengths and weaknesses, which makes it hard to place the essay specifically on a grade scale.  That is why I love giving feedback using Google Docs. That said, I did not give detailed feedback for section 1.  Sorry. I spent my time helping sections 2 and 3.

If you feel that your essay is scored too low, or if you would like me to offer give you some feedback, please e-mail me and I will look at it again.

Here are a few samples that might help you understand how I scored your essay.  You might want to start with the B.  In that essay, the student basically followed the outline and did a decent job explaining.  

A+  Sample: Way above requirements
A+  Sample: Amazing depth
A    Sample: Mostly what I was expecting
A    Sample: Basically what an A looks like
B    Sample: Solid B
C-   Sample: Lowest possible C

An average 8th grade student will not have a perfect paper; therefore, the score of a C should be easy enough to attain.  If the student followed directions and attempted the essay, the lowest the grade should be is a 70.  

*Note: I did not focus too heavily on the grammar.  This was a very complicated essay, and I was looking to see what the students said.

A:
Three body paragraphs explained very well with precise examples
Has student written hook and thesis which grabs and directs
Very few if any distracting grammar errors

B:
Three body paragraphs
All colored sections are discussed and mostly correct
Student has written a hook and thesis which attempts to grab and direct
A few distracting grammar errors, but not too bad.

C:
Three body paragraphs
All sections were attempted
Uses my hook and thesis
Although grammar is not my main focus, try not to have too many errors.

D:
1-2 body paragraphs
Most sections were attempted
Weak discussion of the required sections
Uses my hook and thesis
Although grammar is not my main focus, try not to have too many errors.

59%:
Student hands in something.

Value of Work essays are graded for section 2

When I am done section 3, I will post some links to excellent samples so you can see what I was looking for.

-MrBoZ

Grade updates for MrBoZ

I entered the scores for the quotation marks quiz for all classes.

I also scored the value of work essays for section 1.  I am missing some essays, so you might want to check your grades.  I did not make a lot of comments.  I read them and scored them.  I will post model essays later so you can see what I was looking for and compare.

I am planning to grade sections 2 and 3 today or tomorrow.

Hope you are enjoying your break.

-MrBoZ

Section 1 Book Promotions

Over the last few days, section 1 students promoted their KBAR books to the class.  The results below show which books the students were most interested in reading based on the presentations.  I am glad to see that Night was at the top of the list.  We are going to read it in the spring anyway!

I am providing these links so students can review the presentations at their leisure. These students are getting very good at making Google Slideshows! 

I have decided I am going to read If I Stay and The Fault in Our Stars.  I have not seen the movies, but the book reviews and the presentations really piqued my interest.

Night	89.7
If I Stay	89.4
The Fault in our Stars (Power Point)	89
The Scorch Trials	85.4
The Hunger Games	85.1
Ghost Hawk	84.3
Ignite Me	83.4
Lord of the Flies	82.9
Allegiant	81.1
Fairest	80.9
The Death Cure	80.3
The Sea of Monsters	80.2
The Last Olympian	79.9
Magyk	78.8
People of the Sparks	78.6
The Son of Neptune	69.9

-These are not grades.  These numbers are the average percent.  Students rated their interest after the presentation and I compiled their scores in an Excel chart.  

The spreadsheet below shows which books each student is most interested in reading next.  Click on the picture for a larger version.

Punctuation Practice: Quotation Marks

Today we worked on the following worksheets.  I will put the answer keys up tomorrow.

I will have students practice these more tomorrow.  Then I will give them a small assessment on Friday.

Students should be working on their Value of Work essays at home.

Section 1 Book Presentations Due Wednesday

Here is how I would like to score your book presentations.  I will "score" them using the top row.  The class will "score" them as well focusing on their personal reactions to the presentation and how much it inspires them to read the book. I am open to feedback.  We can talk about this Tuesday.

Value of Work Essay is Due Friday

The body paragraphs should be color-coded as such:

Paragraph 2: From piece 1, I learned that work is… (1 sentence)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

Total of 10 or so sentences

(Unless you are doing Option C)

Value of Work Essay Scoring

A:
Three body paragraphs explained very well with precise examples
Has student written hook and thesis which grabs and directs
Very few if any distracting grammar errors

B:
Three body paragraphs
All colored sections are discussed and mostly correct
Student has written a hook and thesis which attempts to grab and direct
A few distracting grammar errors, but not too bad.

C:
Three body paragraphs
All sections were attempted
Uses my hook and thesis
Although grammar is not my main focus, try not to have too many errors.

D:
1-2 body paragraphs
Most sections were attempted
Weak discussion of the required sections
Uses my hook and thesis
Although grammar is not my main focus, try not to have too many errors.

59%:
Student hands in something.

Boys and Girls Basketball pictures are posted, as well as some cheerleading

Here is the main gallery for this year's H.B. Sports pictures.

Writing a summary

Section 1 has a vocab quiz on unit 5 tomorrow.

After I read through the Google Docs students have shared with me, I noticed they need help with summarizing.  Today in sections 2 and 3, we reread Tom Sawyer.  Then I wen through the outline of the Value of Work essay to show them what they need to do.










But I mostly wanted students to practice summarizing a story in three sentences.  These are the basic pieces of information I wanted them to include in the summary:

Set in_____
Character ______
Does/is challenged by _____________
Explain the basic story in three steps  ____, _____,  _____.
In the end ________
Theme ________

Example: ·      
Set in the 1800’s, Tom Sawyer was forced to paint a fence. He wanted to get out of it, so he planned to trick Ben.  Not only did he trick Ben, he ended up tricking all the other boys into doing his work. He ended up having a great day and a lot of great stuff in his pocket and learned that work is what you are obliged to do.

We also watched an episode of the Twilight Zone called "The Shelter." I had the above list on the board. I checked off each part of the summary when I thought it was covered. I collected their notecard so I can see how they did. We will follow up on this tomorrow.

The final push to the end of the first unit!

All students have a big writing project to finish before the break.  The essay is the culmination of all the pieces we have read since September.  The essay should demonstrate an understanding of writer's style.  Students have discussed theses pieces in class, and they have also written two book reviews.  At this point, students should have a basic idea of how to talk about the theme of a piece and the techniques the writer's used to convey that message.

Because this is such a large piece, I am providing lots of time in class, as well as plenty of guidance. It will not be scored a hard as the last book review.  This is the first essay like this.  There will be more before the end of the year.

I think students should be able to tell me what the writers of four pieces taught them about the value of work. I color coded the sections they need to discuss for each piece.  The students will be expected to color code their essays as well.  

Paragraph 1: Hook and Thesis

Paragraph 2: From piece 1, I learned that work is… (1 sentence)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)0

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

Total of 10 or so sentences, around

P3: From piece 2, I learned that work is… (1)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)0

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

Total of 10 or so sentences, around

P4: From piece 3, I learned that work is… (1)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)0

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

Total of 10 or so sentences, around

P5: From piece 4, I learned that work is… (1)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)0

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

Total of 10 or so sentences, around

Paragraph 6: Conclusion

We are starting to write our value of work essay

Today I finished my discussion of Mike Rowe, his Dirty Jobs show and his TED speech.  Who better to comment on the value of work than a man who goes around our country trying the jobs most of us don't do?  I was showing them through his speech that his show elevates the working men and women of our country.  He shows us that they not only work hard, but we should be thankful for the work they do.

I gave students time to write one of their body paragraphs for their essay in class today.  Students are not giving enough details.  Tomorrow we will work on fully explaining each piece of literature so that they show me they understood the writer's message on work an the connection they made with the piece.

Here is the essay option most students will do.

You can say that there are many ways to describe the value of work and use at least four pieces explain what you mean. 

       Body Paragraph: From piece 1, I learned that work is… (1 sentence)

·      Summarize the piece (2-3) and the message (1-2)

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message (2-3)

·      and what you learned from him/her (3+ with examples from text)

          Total of 10 or so sentences.

Value of Work Essay Requirements due December 19

I had big plans for the first unit of study when the year started, but things changed as the months went by.  It is time to wrap up the first unit on the value of work.  I see no other way to do this than to have the students write an essay that demonstrates they have learned the requirements of the first unit.

I will read the essays and give them a grade, but I will not be grading them as thoroughly as I am grading the current book review.

There are three essay options below.  I think I have made the requirements clear.  

Topic: After reading these pieces, I believe the value of work is…

Essay Form Option 1

We have read ten pieces on the value of work.  Each author tried to convey a message about the value of work.  For this essay, I would like you to explain some of the messages the authors were trying to convey in their pieces and how each one helped you arrive at your own decision about what is the value of work.

Option A

You have one position on the value of work and use at least four pieces to back up your position.

Ex.

Thesis:

I believe the value of work is to make you strong.

P2: I learned that work makes you strong from piece 1

·      Summarize the piece and the message

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message

·      and what you learned from him/her

P3: I learned that work makes you strong from piece 2

·      Summarize the piece and the message

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message

·      and what you learned from him/her

Option B

You can say that there are many ways to describe the value of work and use at least four pieces explain what you mean. 

P2: From piece 1, I learned that work is…

·      Summarize the piece and the message

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message

·      and what you learned from him/her

P3: From piece 2, I learned that work is…

·      Summarize the piece and the message

·      Explain how the author conveyed the message

·      and what you learned from him/her

Essay Form Option 2

Option C

Throughout this unit, I have been learning about the value of work.  I have learned some lessons, but the lesson was not always so easy to learn.  I believe the choice of form matters when you are trying to convey a message to an audience?

Which two pieces had the clearest message on the value of work?

Which two pieces contained a message but might have been unclear?

Which two pieces were either unclear about the message on the value of work or did not contain a message at all?

As you discuss each piece explain the following:

Summarize the piece and the message

Explain the form of the piece (poem, bio, etc.)

How did the writer’s use of  _____________(See list below) help or hinder your understanding of the message?

Setting, Plot, Conflict, Tone, Word Choice, Sentence Structure, Imagery, Sensory Details, Point of View, Character Choice

What I want to see when I grade your essays

The Basics:

Six paragraphs

P1: Introductory paragraph that has a hook and thesis. 

Use the hook list.

The thesis is the position you will explain.

P2: Piece 1

P3: Piece 2

P4: Piece 3

P5: Piece 4

P6: Conclusion paragraph

Restates the introduction

Wraps up your paper

Good grammar

Please take your time to make sure everything is perfect.

(I will lower your grade if you have too many distracting errors.)

Have the three required sections for each body paragraph

Content:

As long as you have the basic requirements above, the grade starts at a 70%. 

From there, I will determine how well you explained what you believe is the value of work based on these pieces. 

·      Remember, you do not have jobs, so you are learning from others. 

·      I will be looking for a thorough explanation of the writer’s message and how it helped you to understand the value of work.

·      Demonstrate that you have learned something from these writers.